I stood in my bathroom looking at the mirror nervously putting my make-up on. I glanced over at the clock ticking on the wall. 5:46. I was supposed to meet my date at Donovan’s for 6:00. Just under fifteen minutes. I was almost ready to go. I smoothed my hair down and put on one last swipe of lip gloss. I ran out the door and grabbed my purse.
I pulled up to Donovan’s at precisely six o’clock. I walked in to the restaurant, looking around. I’m not exactly sure what I was looking for because I had never met Evan before. A hostess came up to me and asked, “Do you have a reservation?”
“Um… I’m actually meeting someone here. Evan Felix.”
“Oh, alright, Mr. Felix is already seated. Right this way please.”
The hostess led me through the dimly lit room to a table for two. Already sitting down was a gorgeous man. He had black hair and brilliant blue eyes, with a huge smile on his face. Evan Felix. I couldn’t believe my good luck.
“Hi. You must be Evan.” I said as I took my place across from him.
He looked at me with his twinkling eyes, stuck out his hand to shake mine and said, “Hi. You must be Rose.”
When we were both sitting down we looked at our menus. We quickly decided what we wanted and were ready to order when the waitress came over to take our order. After the waitress left, I took a sip of my water unsure of what to say. Luckily Evan spoke. “So what do you like to do?”
“Well I’m really into music.”
“Oh, cool. I play the drums in my brother’s band.”
“That’s awesome.” I said, thankfully that we had at least something in common.
As we waited for our food we became more comfortable with each other. It turned out Evan and I had much more in common than just music. We agreed on most subjects and the ones that we didn’t we were able to playfully argue about them.
By the time our spaghetti came I was starving. I picked up my fork and delicately twirled my spaghetti on it. I looked over at Evan, who wasted no time digging right in to his dinner. His face was bent low to the table; I’m assuming so that the food could reach his mouth faster. He hastily shoveled forkful after forkful of spaghetti into his mouth.
The spaghetti wiggled as it made its way towards his moth. And sauce splashed everywhere. From the tablecloth to his face. As attractive as Evan was he could not makes slurping spaghetti look cute. And even though Evan was incredibly hot and we got along really well I knew that his eating habits were going to be a deal breaker. I had to end this date.
I didn’t want to just get up and leave because that would be rude. And I didn’t want to pull a “Oh, I just have to go to the bathroom” because that was tacky. So as Evan talked and sprayed me with a shower of spaghetti sauce I just nodded and thought of a way to politely end this torture.
Maybe if I ate the same way he would realize just how disgusting he looked. I didn’t want to get messy, but I knew it was for a good cause. I took a deep breath and threw my fork into my spaghetti, getting a big, messy bite of pasta. I slurped all of it into my mouth and the sauce flew everywhere. Some hit Evan in the face. He just laughed and said, “Oh good. I’m glad you’re starting to enjoy your meal.”
I sighed. This was not going to be easy. I desperately began to try everything I could to make Evan want to end the date. I talked really loudly and obnoxiously. I talked non-stop about my mom and my cat. I laughed at everything he said, whether it was funny or not. I spilled my drink on his lap. No matter what I did Evan just smiled and acted as if this was a perfectly normal evening.
That’s it. Desperate times call for desperate measures. I looked at Evan and said, “Excuse me I just have to go to the restroom really quick. I’ll be right back.” As I made my way the bathroom I breathed a sigh of relief knowing that I had successfully ended the date.